Family Stress

    When I was growing up, I remember my family undergoing many events that put everyone through stress. Throughout this stress, I noticed that the family changed and adjusted in different ways. I’ve come to learn that that’s how families work. They go through certain stressors as a family unit, and they grow and change with the stress. It can grow, or diminish the strength of a family, depending on how it is dealt with. I’ve been thinking about stressors that I might face in my future family, and I think it is best to come up with a game plan for how to deal with them. 

    One of the first relationship stressors I can think of is the stress of actually getting into a relationship. It can be really scary to start a relationship and not knowing what the future holds. It could end in so many different ways, whether the guy breaks it off, or the girl. Or, it could progress to the point of marriage. Both are intimidating futures to wonder about. I think the best way to approach this is to not panic! We’re meant to gain experience this life, and live in a way where we are pursuing understanding and knowledge. We can’t get any of those things without exposure to the stress of something new, like a relationship. I am currently in this stage of life where I haven’t yet began a relationship, but it could happen in the future. I’ve found that the best mindset it to be optimistic and remember that I don’t have control over everything in the future. Being religious, I also know that God will help me along the way, no matter what happens.

    When I do get married, I try to imagine what kinds of difficulties might come up when my spouse and I start bringing kids into our family. It will definitely change the dynamic we will have built as a couple. I really think the most important thing to grow and nourish during this new stress is my relationship with my husband. I could see it being neglected with me focusing on the baby and him focusing on work. There’s a possibility that we could leave it untended for a bit, and it grow weaker. To counteract this, I will communicate to my husband so we’re on the same page about our relationship being a top priority. Then, we can make a plan to regularly spend time with each other, even if we’re just sitting on the couch eating ice cream together. Keeping up communication and loving connection with my spouse will help us grow stronger. 

    Another stress I can see happening is when kids begin to get older and make bad decisions. I can see this causing a lot of anxiety to both my husband and me. There’s so many things that can happen, it’s hard to plan for every bad thing that might come up from our kid’s bad decision. There’s a big chance that my husband and I will not agree on ways to help our children. We may have different ideas of discipline. Maybe an event will occur spontaneously where a decision has to be made on the spot. What if my spouse and I react differently? We could possibly get in an argument afterwards about how the situation was handled. I think the best approach to this type of situation is to discuss some scenarios with my husband beforehand. We can talk about how we would handle a situation, and if the other disagrees, we can negotiate and find something that works. If something does happen with our kids and either I or my spouse reacts in a way that the other doesn’t agree with, it’s very important that we talk about it after. By communicating and setting boundaries, I can see my marriage, and my family growing and strengthening from this stress. There’s a lot of emotion in this one, so it’s best to work together and come together.

    Overall, I realize there’s a lot more stressors my family and I can encounter. With my husband, I think it’s important that we grow closer together always. This will help us to naturally present a strong, united, and loving front to our children. In turn, our family will be more likely to stay strong when we push our stressors to grow our relationships, rather than diminish them.