Family Culture

     Every family has a culture. There’s fun family traditions, like baking cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve. There’s things that are taught within each family, and also different things that are important to them. I’ve been pondering lately on how will I establish my family culture in the future. I think it’s important to decide what you’d like your family to be like beforehand, so you’re intentionally choosing your culture.

    When it comes to creating a family culture, I believe one of the most important things to start out with is boundaries. When a couple starts dating, it is vital that they set boundaries with each other. Essentially, they are teaching each other how they want to be treated. They are opening the lines of communication to be able to overcome their differences. Without boundaries, it would be hard to know what the other likes, and what upsets them. Let’s say there’s a couple that has just started dating. One of them did something that hurt the other, but the other didn’t communicate that to them. How are they supposed to know what has happened? The hurt person may recover quickly, but if it’s ignored, it will most likely happen again. The hurt and frustration will only build, and will take a toll on the relationship. In contrast, if the hurt is communicated straight away, it can be dealt with in a healthy manner. I love the benefits of communication and boundaries and strongly believe in the importance of them.

    Another way to establish your own family culture is to observe your’s and other’s family cultures. Then you can take things that you’ve loved and implement them. It is also important to notice things that may have been difficult or frustrating for you. One thing from my family that I’d love to implement into my future family is the supportive atmosphere my parents established. They encouraged me to do well in school, but weren’t unnecessarily upset when my grades weren’t perfect. They supported my ambitions and helped me overcome my fears. This has helped shape who I am, and I know it’d be beneficial in my future family.

    I would like to build a strong relationship with my husband. When a man and a woman establish a strong relationship with each other, the children are able to see this. It can provide a sense of security and a strong foundation on which the children can rely. It is important that children do not come between their relationship. Spouses should put each other first and not look to their children for validation. When they come together and work through problems as they arise, they are able to create a strong united front. If you think about it, when a parent talks negatively about the other parent to their child, it can break the unity between spouses and cause the child to take a side. Whereas, if the parents take their problems directly to each other and talk it out, they are able to work together to resolve the conflict. Unity is such a vital thing to have in a marriage. It keeps the whole family strong and brings them closer together. I imagine my relationship with my husband as being unified and connected through communication with each other.

    Going on this train of thought, I’d love to express how much I love communication. It is absolutely incredible the things that are able to be accomplished by talking through things with others. Growing up, I remember being late for curfew one night. My parents gave me some not-so-great chores as punishment. When I asked them why it mattered so much, they explained to me the worry that they had gone through. Then they also expressed that if I had simply texted them to let them know I was alright and on my way home, they wouldn’t have been so stressed. It taught me that communication was important to them, and that it solves a lot of problems that arise. 

    Overall, communication, boundaries, and building loving, strong relationships with my family is the culture I’m going to create in the future. These things make building a family seem a lot less daunting. When small, consistent efforts are made to establish this culture within the family, I know my future family will be happy and successful throughout our lives.

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