Communication for the Win!

     One of the most difficult things about having a relationship with other people is communication. It’s hard to fully understand another person and what is going on in their mind. There are so many things that play a role into how we convey feelings, ideas, and thoughts to others. If I’m having a rougher day than usual, it’s challenging for me to focus on others and what they’re trying to emit to me. I’ve found that my attitude, perspective, past experience, knowledge, feelings, and many other factors all directly impact the way that I communicate with the people in my life. Seeing this has made me realize that to properly communicate with another person in a healthy and meaningful manner, it often takes a lot of work and effort of my part. In turn, I have the power to contribute to a growing relationship by doing my part to nourish it. It’s a valuable skill to develop and maintain healthy habits of communication, and I’d like to break down what this looks like.

    A big part of communication is conveyed through body language. We may be saying one thing, but our body might be giving away and almost exposing our actual thoughts and emotions. I’ve been in some conversations where I feel uncomfortable. I’ve noticed that people can tell, and oftentimes they ask me what’s wrong. This has helped me realize that I need to be more open and honest with others. If I try and hide my discomfort, then that won’t help me be better understood by others. This leads into me feeling misunderstood and out of place, whereas, if I express how I feel, I have the chance to work through the problem with them. They could even helped me feel validated in my frustration and things would be quickly resolved. Of equal importance, it’s essential for me to interpret other’s body language, give them feedback and try and understand how they’re actually feeling, then help them with validation by proving to them that you understand.

    Conflict frequently comes up in life and it requires an increased amount of communication to work through it in a healthy way. First off, there’s a difference between healthy conflict and destructive conflict. Healthy conflict is where both sides are allowed to talk it out. I think it’s important to not be angered and strongly influenced by emotion as the talking is happening. It’s important to let the emotions calm, and then talk about it. That way, both sides can come to reason. They’ll be able to better compartmentalize the problem so as to examine each side of the conflict without feeling personally attacked by suggestions of compromise and adjustment. On the other hand, destructive conflict is another way to say ‘unresolved problem’. Neither person is willing to compromise, they may let anger and pride keep them from turning to the other. It’s a me-against-you situation where any suggestions are taken offensively, rather than looked at with humility. People react to circumstances differently. The best way to handle conflict is to talk, and put in effort to find a compromise that works for both people.

    One person whom I look to for guidance and an example is my Savior, Jesus Christ. It’s incredible to study his life and the works that he did. When observing his life and studying his teachings, I have learned so much about communication with others. I’ve learned that I need to love everyone. He loved everyone, no matter what they did to him. He didn’t let anything or anyone prevent him from acting this way. He was meek and had no desire to cause anyone harm. He gave people comfort, and he was there for them when they mourned. I look at these things, and his life in general, and his example teaches me ways to communicate to others.

    There’s an immense and complex amount of aspects that contribute to communication. I believe that if I try to practice resolving healthy conflict, trying to understand and be understood by being open, and looking to Christ as an example, then I’m on my way to a healthier, happier lifestyle of communication and nurtured relationships.