What is a Father?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the different roles that everyone plays in a family. We all have our spots in our own family, whether that be oldest, middle, youngest, or only child. We generally grow up with each other and learn how to act around the others. When we look at our parents, often “mom” is seen as more kind and caring. “Dad”, on the other hand, seems to be perceived differently. I’ve noticed that everyone describes their dad in different ways. The popular opinion I heard growing up was that “dad” was the strict one that made rules and ‘cracked the whip’ around the house. As I get older, I’ve learned of a more vast description of many peoples’ dads. It’s been interesting for me to observe a difference in the way people view their dads the past few years.

In this article written by Howard Todd-Collins, I read some great descriptions of things that ideally describe and encompass a father-figure. Five attributes, in particular, stuck out to me on which I’d like to expand.

The first thing that that stuck out that Collins wrote about was how dependable many dads are. They are always there, willing to help their family. They can be counted on and will help their kids grow, even if it’s not the way the child wants. It would be really difficult to not have a dependable dad that you can turn to. It’s a thing of comfort to know he’ll come through (para. 9).

Another ideal attribute Todd-Collins lists is the compassion a father has for his family. He listens to his kids and seeks to understand their perspectives. He looks at things from their perspective, and in turn, is able to better help them through what they are feeling (para. 11).

My favorite part of Todd-Collins’ article was how the father treats the mother. He values her while, “showing love and respect” (para. 12). I imagine a father showing a mother that they are equal, and can work through things together. They openly communicate and share things with each other. Another point Todd-Collins mentioned is that the kids are observing the parents’ relationship. They will see those things and learn from them (para. 12).

In the article, Todd-Collins says honesty in another ideal aspect of a father (para. 16). Honesty is a huge thing in the world today, that seems to be harder and harder to come by. I imagine a father emulating this and how big of an impact it would make on his kids as well as his wife. Especially when he tells them his experiences with honesty and how it has helped him in life. That would have a profound impact on the future of his kids.

“Being industrious” is the last point that Todd-Collins explains. It encompasses how a father acts in a work setting. Having a hard-working father that has gained experience in the professional world is a great ideal characteristic of a dad (para. 18). I have a lot of respect for hard work and those that willingly engage in it. It is so important to know to access and use resources, as well as maintain a positive attitude about having to work for something. This is definitely a great ideal characteristic of a father.

 All this being said, perfection should never be forced upon or expected of someone, but it’s a powerful thing to see a father working towards developing these kinds of attributes. I see each of these attributes in my own dad and reading this article brought back many fond memories I have from growing up. My dad emulated each of these things, and I can easily say that his example has influenced me to become the same. I could and can always depend on him to be there supporting me. He has my best interests in mind. He has shown me compassion. I remember various occasions where I was crying and he listened to me and comforted me. He has shown me many times how much he loves my mom. He has learned from her and desired her input always. He expresses his love for her in many ways that I’ve had the privilege of witnessing. I have never seen him lie. He is completely honest and would never doing anything under-handed. Easily one of the most trustworthy persons I know. And finally, he is a very hard-worker. He’s willing to put in the time it takes to do things right. I have learned all these valuable characteristics from him, and I strive to implement them into my life.

In conclusion, fathers can have a vast effect on their families. It is true that everyone’s dad is different. We each learn different things from our dads. One thing that is undeniably common, is the powerful influence that a father has on his family. Whether that be positive, or negative, it is a foundational part of everyone’s lives. 

Source:

Todd-Collins, Howard. “10 Qualities of a Good Dad.” PBC Expo, Marketplacer, 9 Dec. 2019, https://www.pbcexpo.com.au/blog/10-qualities-of-a-good-dad.